Verbal abuseVerbal abuse

He says he’s just kidding … but my core felt downgraded and devalued.

Verbal abuse can start as small digs disguised as jokes. Your boyfriend or husband teases, ridicules and humiliates you with sarcastic comments about your appearance, personality, skills and values. If you tell him, “I don’t think it’s funny,” or ask him to stop “making fun of you,” he may be defensive, angry, or angry.

He tells you: “You are very sensitive” or “You can’t take jokes”. Your guilt statements are convincing, making you question your ability to reason. You wonder if you’re overreacting and doubt your perception of his abuse.

Denying your experience of abuse adds another layer to abuse.

He comments on you in front of friends who mock or belittle you. He hides his acrimony with a naughty smile and laughter. Your public ridicule is unexpected, it unbalances you and shames and humiliates you. Your friends may laugh at your jokes, but your heart has felt the blow and your brain struggles to interpret the true meaning of your humiliation. If you show shock or dislike, he can treat you with a hug and say he was just “kidding”. He maintains his youthful facade and his friends wonder why you are so moved by a meaningless joke.

It takes a lot of intelligence to find ways to disparage your partner, in a rude way or with humor and style. This kind of abuse is not a joke. Cut to the fastest, touch the most sensitive areas and leave the attacker with a look of triumph. This abuse never seems funny because it’s not funny.- Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Relationship

Over time, his ridicule and depreciation can seriously damage his self-esteem, sense of identity and integrity.

I should have paid attention the first time Dr. Dirtbag made fun of me about my weight. We were having dinner in front of the TV and out of nowhere, he said, “You know, the reason fat people are fat is that they don’t know when to stop eating. Your plate is so clean when you finish eating, I don’t even need to wash it. ”

I froze in the middle of the bite. He could see the pain in my eyes. Instead of apologizing, he feigned innocence, saying, “Ah, did I say something wrong?” He swore he didn’t mean it, but he never apologized. Instead, he blamed me, saying “Wow, I was just trying to help. You told me you wanted to lose five pounds. I can’t tell you anything. I’m going to keep my mouth shut.”

Its only purpose was to shock and hurt me with its vicious depreciation.

Examples of verbal abuse disguised as a joke:

She can’t remember anything; she has notes everywhere.

She is so funny; it burns everything it cooks.

She can’t find her way to the supermarket without a GPS.

Having a bad hair day?

You act just like your mother. (We all know that she is completely crazy.)

You would forget your name if it weren’t on your driver’s license.

He’s saying, I can say whatever I want about you because I’m “just” being funny.

You see, the only purpose of your hostile and derogatory humor is to victimize, diminish and insult you. If you don’t react to his ridicule, he won’t be able to control, dominate, and have power over you.

How to react to verbal abuse disguised as a joke.

  • Don’t get carried away by trying to knock it down. Do not accept your excuses. DO NOT enter into a debate with him.
  • Tell him emphatically that you don’t like to be the target of his mood and you want him to stop it – don’t wait for his response.
  • Tell him, “Do you feel better now?” and leave the room.
  • Ignore it and pick up the phone and call a friend or go for a walk.

See the photo?

Your abusive partner is likely to change someday, but you can change the way you react to his verbal abuse.

By admin

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