Some women approach sex with romantic illusions. They expect a lover to get so excited about their bodies that they ‘surprise’ them with their sexual passion. They may not accept the need to offer more stimuli.
The “responses” of women to a lover are motivated by social attitudes. For example, in the past, women were often expected to NOT respond to sexual intercourse. Men considered it inappropriate for a woman to cooperate with sexual intercourse. Perhaps the idea that a woman may be gaining something from the activity put pressure on a man continue intercourse for longer than he could. This is further evidence that women’s responses to a lover involve behaviors instead of spontaneous sexual answers. No one can easily suppress their natural responsiveness for long periods.
The films use sound effects to indicate a couple having sex off-screen: a regular knock (from a bed against the wall) and the woman’s vocal accompaniment. These scenes can be exciting for men, but it seems to me that men like to turn female excitement into a bad joke. Male fantasies pose tremendous pressure on women to conform to the view of men about their sexuality. Female orgasm is more often associated with pornography than with real life.
Men who watch pornography (I know it’s any man with access to a computer!) Expect all women (even their wives) to provide these things. Some women are never exposed to reports of how women provide ‘sexual performance’ for the gratification of a male audience. Even if they are, many women are not equipped with sexual instincts to provide this erotic show. Men seem to think that every woman has the skills of a porn actress, a prostitute or a lover. This woman need not be offended by the carnal instincts of men and be able to present a convincing erotic performance.
We experience intimacy not only through sex, but also by inflicting pain. We hurt others (physically or from what we say) because it is good. We get a form of personal gratification, but not necessarily sexual. Women can be as aggressive as men, but they are not equipped (physically or emotionally) to obtain sexual gratification from others by force.
In the UK, there were 53,665 sexual crimes (rape, sexual assault, sexual activity with minors and ‘other sexual crimes’) in 2011. There were only 103 women in custody for sexual crimes (compared to 10,832 men). The vast majority of women have committed a type of ‘other sex crimes’ crime.
Although women often do not appreciate the importance that men attach to eroticism men rarely appreciate the importance that women attach to affection.